We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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