At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
