At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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