no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
