separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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