She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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