He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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