im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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