if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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