dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
