dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
