Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
