hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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