Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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