So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I still have a little drunk in my system
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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