can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
