Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
porn star boner night. come get it.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
