i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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