So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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