The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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