yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
