he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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