dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
