So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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