She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
