sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
