i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
