I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize