I can text with my tongue
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
