Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
