seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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