i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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