I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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