Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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