I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize