No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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