I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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