wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
