WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
