I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
