The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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