I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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