Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
