why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
