That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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