HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
