I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
