I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
