he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
i've created a new STD.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
