I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
we're so committed to being not committed
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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