So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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