Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
