so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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