I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
honey bunches of taint.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
