yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
