Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
