Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
