i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
