when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
the raccoons are back...
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