I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
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