Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
