Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
