I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
this will be a night to untag.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
