hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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