talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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