She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
