well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
