You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
