Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
