Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
