hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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