i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize