Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
