I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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