ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
