Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize