Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize