Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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