I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
