i jhust puked up my retainher.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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