Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
