My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
what day is it and did you see me today?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I have fence marks all over my body
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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